For People With Social Anxiety
For years I was afraid, unhappy, depressed, confused, furious, restless, anxious, suicidal. I knew something was not quite right but I didn’t want to fully acknowledge my fear because I was ashamed of it. I was ashamed at the fact I was not comfortable around people because I was damaged. I was living a lie and wearing a social mask because I believed if I was to take it off I would be attacked, judged, rejected, abandoned, laughed at, made to feel like I was wrong. This is how I felt because growing up my dad abused me and terrified me to death. I was so afraid of my dad I couldn’t look him in his eye. This was because he used to tell me to not look at him otherwise he would bash me around the head. He constantly criticised me just for talking and being normal. He suffered from psychotic jealousy and insecurity which is why he attacked me. I was made to believe that being socially confident was being rude. I was not allowed to be confident around my dad which effected my relationship with people. I never realised how afraid I was of people until several years later when I started to overcome my social anxiety. It really dawned on me looking back at all my behaviours that all came from massive insecurity. I used to constantly people please as a way of keeping people happy and protecting myself from being rejected. All these behaviours came from an unconscious fear of not being able to trust people.
My dad made me believe that the world was a dangerous place and people could not be trusted which I later learned was not true. As far as my unconscious was concerned this was true which is why my whole reality was dishonest. All my relationships were dysfunctional because I was not being my true self which attracted other people that were also not honest. Deep down I knew this was going on but I was too afraid at the time to admit it to myself because that would mean confronting my fear of my dad. I don’t think people realise that social anxiety is not just being shy around people. Social anxiety is a constant fear that lives inside you like a possession. Everywhere I went I felt afraid even when I was alone by myself I felt so afraid it gave me severe depression. I grew sick and tired of life because living in fear all the time of being judged by people made me exhausted.
I couldn’t go out into public without feeling uncomfortable and constantly worried that I might bump into someone that knew me and then I would have to talk with them. I was really self-conscious about my social awkwardness which other people could obviously notice. I was always really afraid that people would see I had social anxiety and then judge me for it. This became a catch 22 for me because I did enjoy making new friends and connecting with people. My social anxiety would sometimes be more manageable depending on who I was with and how comfortable I felt. This did not take the fact away that I was carrying a lot of pain from my past. I didn’t want to think about the abuse that went on with my dad the memories really made me feel depressed.
The story became more fearful than the actual abuse itself which happened many years ago. Evan thought I intellectually knew that forgiving my dad and moving on was the way forward it didn’t make it any easier. Social anxiety disorder is not something you can overcome in a weekend. It takes serious commitment and courage to overcome social anxiety and depression.
Deep down I always knew I was confident with people I could feel this in my heart but I could seem to transfer my inner confidence in social situations I would just go blank and not being able to hardly speak which was really frustrating for me. I would occasionally get moments of real authenticity that would feel so good but I was not able to sustain it. I got so used to being introverted and carful during social situations especially with meeting new people that is really difficult for me. For many years I completely avoided social situations unless it was things like going to the local shop, dentist, family, close friends. i never had the courage to go to social events by myself which is something I secretly wanted to do. I didn’t want to have to rely on other people I wanted to be independent which is why overcoming this fear was a must.
When you have social, anxiety disorder it effects every area of your life in a negative way. However, it can be the very thing that transforms your life if you have the will and the courage to face it. So this is what I did I started to face everything that made me afraid. I did public speaking, dating, started youtube channel making videos, coaching other people with anxiety, going to social events, and working on dissolving my negative behaviours that were not me. This soon began to have a positive effect on my entire life and without sounding big headed made me globally recognised as one of the words leading dating caches for me. I taught men all around the world on my 6-week transformation how to overcome anxiety and attract beautiful women. I started to see my fear that had been bullying me since aged 13 all the way up to my twenties as something that was a blessing in disguise. My dark past with the abuse with my dad and all the social anxiety was the very thing that made me who I am and become successful. Not only did I become successful with overcoming my social anxiety I became successful in every area that I put my attention on.
Women
Business
Coaching
public speaking
writing
talking
youtube
All these skills that I developed over a decade were born out of my fear which went on to inspire millions of people all around the world. Like I said before this was not an easy journey but that has taught me so much. This is why I want to encourage you to face your social anxiety and don’t let it ruin your life. Your life is precious and so are you so don’t allow fear to keep you trapped when you deserve the very best life has to offer. Social anxiety is created from the mind which can be changed. Everything starts at the level of thought which is where our beliefs come from and how we create our reality.
Another thing I learned about fear is it is never as bad as it seems when we actually face it head on. Facing social anxiety is not something you do in one visit however once you get started you will be inspired to keep going. This is why I generally tend to work with people over a period of 6-weeks to help and support them through their own process of overcoming social anxiety. My signature approach is well documented over youtube with taking students out and coaching them on how rot approach women/strangers and start honest conversations. The practical element is very important in regards to overcoming social anxiety. The spiritual part is equally as important with dissolving pain bodies which tend to bring up negative emotions such as anger, rage, jealousy, paranoia, and so forth. This is why living a clean life is the quickest to overcome social anxiety and build healthy self-esteem. This combination of both the practical and the spiritual is a winning formula for making a full recovery.
I hope this article inspires you to overcome your social anxiety